Blah and No Smoking....

As I have said before I have been feeling a little blah for the last week and a half. I have no doubt that my mood is not being helped by the fact that I made a promise to myself to quit smoking after finishing my last carton of cigarettes. I finished them on Wednesday last week and since then my mood has gone from blah to CRASH. Is it the nicotine withdrawal or am I just naturally a mugwump?

I didn’t go out at all on the weekend. Instead I bought a bottle of vodka and systematically drank ¾ of it before running out of mixer. I am pretty sure if I had been sober enough to make my way to the petrol station for more mixer the bottle would have been very empty. I did have a pretty good chat with one of Belinda’s friends. Fascinating guy.

Actually,,,,,I am contemplating buying another bottle of vodka tonight just to celebrate the fact that it is Tuesday!

Getting closer to C day and I still have so much to do. At least the corporate wardrobe is getting a little bigger each week. Buying a few bits and pieces every now and then. Still haven’t really started on the casual wardrobe yet….. Damn being a trannie, I have a million “going out” clothes and absolutely nothing to just go out with. Not smoking should be a plus for the wardrobe though cause that means I can spe4nd an additional $80 a week on clothes!!! YAY.(spoken like a true trannie, god sometimes I live up to the stereotype only just too well!)

Other than that I am just a little miserable about the world. Well one person in particular, but there appears to be absolutely nothing I can do to change that situation. So more than just backing off, I am walking away entirely. If they want they can come and see me anytime they like and I will receive them with open arms, but right now and into the conceivable future I will not even mention their name.

Right now I have to work out what I am getting Beth and my nieces and nephews for Christmas……. Grrr this is too hard, maybe I should just give them money….. nah no thought or care or love in that. Sadly.